Like an agnostic who just discovered that God does exist, I was overwhelmed by the revelation a single phone call presented before me today. Frankly speaking, I suck at relationships of all kind (as much as the rest of the human race, probably more). But it’s surprising how a single strand of human emotion, a single form of relation has endured centuries of sucky human beings without fail.
I am a difficult guy (probably slightly sociopathic if I believe in all the crap that Dexter Morgan says). And I know that I am perfectly capable of throwing away good friendships (having observed myself over the years like a certain detective who used to live in 221B, Baker Street). Yet it surprises me the number of people who have stuck with me over all these years. There are people whom I meet once every 5-6 months, people whom I haven’t seen in 3 years since school life ended and people I haven’t met in person till now. Yet they ARE my friends.
Yes, we fight. We get angry. But everytime it happens, both of us keep checking the phone every five seconds, secretly hoping that the other person texts “I am sorry”; and in the end we end up apologizing together. Everytime I push them away or make a mistake, I keep hoping that they would stop me. I keep hoping that they pull me back. And they do.
It doesn’t matter whether we talk once in a fortnight or once a month and there are some I haven’t talked to properly in months. Yet when my phone finds the time to give them a call or my bike finds the time to go and hang out with them, it does not matter when we had talked last. What matters is the fact that there is no resentment or anger. We know that the other person is there for us when we need them and it feels as if we were never away from each other.
I always wished for a perfect ever-lasting friendship without any ‘terms and conditions apply’ clause. I always wanted ‘perfection’ in my friendships. But I was a fool not to have realized that those many little moments of pure unadulterated happiness I’ve gathered over the years complete my perfect little album of memories. And even though I’ve screwed up so many times, never have they left my side (except for the occasional semester breaks of course).
I’m thankful for these people in my life who have stuck with me at all times, good and bad. I’m indebted because they accept me as a jerk! I’m grateful that they took the pains to know the real me and didn’t shy away. I’m happy that I managed to touch their hearts and be an ‘okay-okay’ friend.
“So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good.”
– Helen Keller