The Last Bid

I tried to reassure that all will be fine,
tried to make you leave the past behind.
Kept the spark alive instead of all vice,
buried all my skeletons in front of your eyes.

I tried to look inside and raise you from the ash,
to reach in from outside and rescue your heart of glass.
I’ve tried to join all the pieces yet I couldn’t find,
the final piece that really made you mine.

I couldn’t make the right moves,
couldn’t bare my soul.
I’ve been walking on the edge ever since,
crumbling like a scroll.

Two worlds apart, yet never able to let go,
Sorry for the truths I could never show.
Now finally all lies bare, let all doubts be shown,
and if you are still not satisfied, then I’ll be gone.

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Dark Cells

A scream and a nightmare ends,

Eyelids open to infinite darkness.

The first look down the invisible bed,

All that’s visible is black, unexplained.

All logic becomes wingdings,

Mind starts to go senile.

Vision starts getting hazy,

And the throat tastes bile.

Feels the darkness closing in,

Consuming all that’s left of him.

Fear takes over, not of the surroundings,

But fear of what is there within.

The consciousness keeps shuffling,

Between the abyss within and the darkness without,

Not able to choose which is better,

Not able to think, not able to shout.

Perhaps this is the cruel end of him,

This is how he was supposed to go.

No supports to grasp, no lifelines,

Nothing left for him but sorrow.

Then At last the dread kicks in,

Mind asks morphine, nerves ask nicotine.

As soon as the acrid smoke hits his lungs,

The stupor breaks and the darkness…

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Last Bench

I may have left the school days behind,
but the classroom never really  left me.
It’s still the same old routine of coming early,
to fill the last benches first.

Gone are the days of uniforms and lunchboxes,
gone are the days of “kneel-down”-ing.
The professor doesn’t give a damn and neither do we,
we just worry that he doesn’t disturb our sleep.

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But then, the last bench has its own way,
of forcing you to sit and think.
And While the breeze hits me from the left and from behind,
I stare out of the window and get lost in my thoughts.

I’m pushed back in time, pushed far away,
away from the college classrooms and life.
The professor gets switched off just like a radio,
& all the last bench jokes become buzzing of bees.

I remember old jokes, I remember old pranks,
I remember all the times we laughed and cried.
I remember all the punishments we ever got in class,
I remember each and every smile.

My brain starts playing old videos,
kiddish fights and childish talks.
I remember all promises, all secrets we shared,
all that we thought was the ‘world’ for us.

Games class and football fights,
cat-fights and the gossip vine.
All that philosophical thinking and search for “love”,
nothing but leave a wavering smile.

‘Sharing’ lunches and diet-food!
Borrowing water bottles during a class.
Sticking chewing gum under the desks,
and writing our names over the walls.

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The bell rings and my day dream breaks,
I want to stay but I can’t.
Lifting up my bag, I give the bench a look,
and a smiling me exits the class.

Escape

Too many riddles to solve,
Too many puzzles in hand,
Too much of confusion around
And yet no sign of any solution.

The pressure cooker is reaching bursting point,
And the body is starting to give away.
Heart is bleeding way too much these days,
And the silence is corroding away the flesh.

All that’s unsaid and unshared is killing from within,
And insecure thoughts are damaging the metabolism.
Reality is breaking the body bone by bone,
And yet lips are sewn tight by threads of ego.

All strings attached are getting muddled up,
Can’t decide whether to cut them away or untangle them.
Unreturned echoes are driving the brain crazy,
and unfair situations are shattering the will power.

Responsibilities seem no less than taming a dragon,
Duties seem like searching for a desert oasis to avoid death.
Finding an escape route seems the only logical thing to do,
Unless there’s already some other way out.

Sleep pattern is becoming insomniac,
Appetite lost amidst all this madness.
Temper hidden just like the captured Titans,
Ready to burst unawares on an unsuspecting someone.

World now looks a shade of just black and white,
Sprinkled with the occasional shades of grey.
Bricks crumbling at the touch of decaying hands,
And earth turning parched at every new step.

Legs walking towards unending darkness without choice,
Shreds of light falling down and crumbling to ashes.
With pin drop silence engulfing all senses with the disappearing light,
It’s time to find a way to escape.